What Would You Do To Spend Christmas in China?

Very crazy over here. After being home for a good long stay, I am back for 2 ½ weeks. We will not be moving into the new facility until maybe 21 Dec, so it is even more cramped here in the temp offices than before. We have some 25 people in a space for 12 and we have a storage room that has a stack of boxes of gauges and lab equipment, etc down the center that we converted to office space by placing tiny desks for 10 more people along the walls surrounding this avalanche-in-waiting and we have more Americans showing up next week … so I am not sure where we are going to put everyone. We already have people sharing desks (I’ll have to get a picture of that).

Our primary gauge for measuring (a huge device approximately 12’ x 6’ x 10’) is delayed arriving because in an attempt to get it here faster, we out-thunk ourselves and fouled up the transportation. We had decided we could clear import customs faster if we had the device shipped from Germany to Shanghai (via Suez canal, go around India, dodge the Somali pirates and Monsoons in Malaysia) and then travel by barge up the Xiang River to Changsha City (1 hour away from us by car) where our people could physically go to the customs office and assist in the clearing process. Good plan, huh?
What we didn’t plan on was that the Xiang River is in its dry season thanks to Al Gore’s Global Warming and there are parts of the river that are reported to be little more than large streams and supposedly there are barges grounded in the middle of it. So, back to Shanghai to clear customs there and then truck overland – or pull the barge up river with mules like the old Erie Canal of the 1800’s? The solution is unknown as of this writing. Delivery date is now maybe the end of December and install in January. Without this device, we cannot accurately certify our size measurements when we start our equipment, so timing will be tight as we still want to start our 1st two manufacturing machines in January.

Other than that, weather is cooler than forecasted (of course, I didn’t believe the forecasts and came very prepared). Forecast was 45/65 each day and mostly sunny, so that completely explains why yesterday was drizzling and only a high of about 50 (but in a fit of irony, the surprise rain was only a tease as it wasn’t enough to fill up the river).

The cool temperatures in combination with so many of us crammed together in these temporary offices has everybody worried about the dreaded H1N1, so in the spirit of prevention, we get our temperature taken every morning when we arrive to work. They are using one of the infrared devices that you “shoot” at the forehead and it displays in 3 seconds. They have a logbook to record this and if you have an elevated temperature, you get sent home for a few days. I have had a good time with this and even began a rousing discussion about charting all of these results and then employing some SPC to determine each person’s average temp to evaluate when subtle changes were significant or perhaps even conducting a study to determine if the average Chinese temperature was different from the average American temperature. I told them since we were taller; our heads were in thinner and cooler air than theirs so our temperatures should be lower. And ultimately, all of this temperature conversation naturally lead to a discussion of the device accuracy and whether or not these measurements were valid anyway whereupon our local Quality Manager presented to me the Certificate of Calibration (good for a whole year, mind you) to prove the measurements were correct. He was very concerned that I challenged the accuracy of the thermometer. They really don’t know what to do with me (which reminds me of Sid’s email about the word “sarchasm” which would be a noun meaning “The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.” But I am really off point here).
But seriously, how accurate can this be if its 40 degrees outside, we ride to work in an unheated van (it has heat, they just don’t run it), we walk into an office that has had the heat off all night and within 5 minutes this clerk is running around zapping everybody’s forehead and taking what appears to be only a skin temperature? I have noticed my readings have consistently been around 96 degrees which seems significantly cooler than a ‘norm’ of 98.6.
There I go over thinking this, but it seems like just another example of misplaced Chinese zealousness for doing something they were instructed to do without approaching it with any thought process.

I’m actually thinking of covertly putting one of those hand warmers on my forehead for 5 minutes before my turn just to see the reaction when I record a value of 110.
But then again, maybe not - the “freak out” factor would probably activate some alarm system in Beijing and I don’t really want to spend my Christmas in China.