Dealing With the Government – Finale

So the meeting got cancelled. “Something” came up and we had to reschedule for another time which means “We’ll call you 10 minutes before we want you to show up.”

This morning, they called. At 08:45. Meeting at 09:00.

This particular government building (there are many) is physically attached to and behind a hotel which I can only assume makes it easier for the officials to stagger back from the hotel restaurant after a rather long and difficult and yet celebratory lunch meeting.

We meet the official. He is the head of all the Xiangtan Fire District (our construction permit is specifically for fire protection systems as I learned), so the Big Honcho, Big Cheese, He’s the man.

Decent sized office. Maybe 12 x 20. The desk consumed about half the room and his chair was the size of a small 1940 era house. Two computers, two telephones, and the small Chinese Flag affixed to the pencil holder-blotter accessory. Pretty much what I expected.

What I didn’t expect was the uniform. He looked like General Patton (only shorter, with black hair, brown eyes, bad teeth, …). Enough medals that if he fell into a pond, he would drown from the weight. A perfect crew cut that was so perfectlyy flat on top the variation in hair length couldn’t have been more than 2 microns. Very impressive persona.

So we meet and exchange business cards (well, I gave him mine; he didn’t offer). And we sat down and were served tea (I expected that). As the tea was being prepared he stepped away a moment and our local engineer whispers “He might know some English; so don’t talk about your family.” I chuckle. Like he really needed to tell me that! Well, I had thought about it; but knew better.

He read our prepared letter and then I was signaled to describe what we were doing and why we needed his help. That was translated and he picks up his phone and made a quick call. Within seconds this lady enters with our file for him to review. This woman looked like she was straight from the Russian Front. Six feet tall (no lie), full uniform, more medals, and looked meaner than a snake. I thought we were in trouble. But then she had the nicest voice. Very odd combination of voice and appearance.

More discussion. More translation. Back and forth it goes.  I felt a little bit like the “Animal House” scene where the college president was discussing the homecoming parade with the city Mayor. The Mayor wants to increase the donation the school makes to the city for having the parade and the president says “I don’t think its right that you should extort money from us.” And the Mayor says “Its our streets, and our cars, and our sanitation to clean up the mess, and if you mention extortion again, I’ll have your legs broken.”

But then the “official” stamp appears (they call it a “chop” as shown for example) and just like that – we are done.

We stand and the engineer signals we are done and leans over and whispers “you shake now”. Apparently, the beggar (us) must extend to shake hands first with the beggee. He won’t shake until we do (and he didn’t). That was one of those ‘wish I had known that earlier’ moments. A bit awkward.

But now we can move forward officially with our fire system construction.

And there was much rejoicing.



So there you have it.