Chinglish Explained

There were several comments and I received several emails asking "just exactly what the last sign meant?"
I told you it was my favorite.
I spent some time that day - and even the next day - trying to interpret that sign.

So let's look at the sign again, and I will toss out my answers - you guys can chime in if you agree or if you have a different idea ...

• The Board of the visitors know .... Attention all visitors
• Field inside must go by car to play, ... You must ride the trolley car to go inside the amusement ride to experience it (Hmmmm, I wonder if Tom B or Tommy S remembers the weekend at Disney on "Mr Toad's Wild Ride? Robyn should inquire ...)
• Then can produce the geezer result ... Then you can experience the fun (“geezer result” could mean “old result” meaning “historical ” result meaning “intended” result – which would be fun?? )This is why this sign is one of my favorites … it’s a ‘stumper”!
• Field inside strictly forbid the firework, prohibit to touch the internal facilities, ... The amusement ride inside strictly forbids fireworks (duh), Keeps hands inside the trolley car,
• embark the wayWin ... To enter (to begin the way inside) with an extra "W"
• to strictly forbid to stand , get off to beat to make to throw the product with confusion, ... No standing, getting off the trolley car or hitting the displays, or damaging the ride by throwing objects (though I would think it would be a bad idea to throw objects even if you were not confused).
• if full of energy disease, Heart attack, the one who drink to excess can not embark ... If you are lethargic (?), have risk of heart attack, or drunk; you cannot ride the amusement

Any other ideas???